– CAREERS AT B.A.E. ENTERPRISES –
[ CURRENT OPEN POSITIONS ]
DEPARTMENT OF GROWTH & OPPORTUNITY
Love Bandit Division
Open & closing dates
11/20/2018 to 12/13/2018
Pay scale & grade
$134,789 to $164,200 per year, unlimited beets, happiness, smiles and stock options in En Foutner, Jr, LLC, Neu Legacy Builders, LLC, etc. Unless you have prior federal experience, you will likely start at step 1 of the pay scale which is $134,789.
Currently stationed in Detroit, but must be willing to travel to NY, ATL and see the world, globally.
Relocation expenses reimbursed
The Love Bandit Division leads the CEO’s efforts to create a spiritually abundant life with amazing growth opportunities, family of 4, continued career/entrepreneurial success and support, happiness, animal preservation and trap karaoke.
Investigates, prosecutes and takes to trial criminal love violations against B.A.E. Enterprises and their officers, managers, and employees, especially when the violations include the B.E.O., the Love Laundering Control Act, and U.S. sanctions regimes (such as IEEPA and TWEA) and pursues related asset forfeitures;
Leads and undertakes the most complex investigations and prosecutions within the love courts throughout the Baeship;
Contributes to the development and maintenance of BAE’s mission by maintaining positive and effective relationships with the CEO;
Coordinates and partners with the CEO for elevated success; and
Advises and instructs CEO on how to make the BEO feel like the most special woman in the world
Next levels include GIRLFIENDEO, FIANCEO, WIFEO
Conditions of Employment
You must be a U.S. Citizen to qualify for this position.
You must undergo a pre-employment security investigation.
You may be required to take a thug test.
DIRECT DEPOSIT: All Federal employees are required to have Federal salary payments made by direct deposit to a financial institution of their choosing.
You must meet all qualification requirements by the closing date of this announcement.
Required Qualifications: Interested applicants must possess a J.D. degree, be duly licensed and authorized to practice as an attorney under the laws of any State, territory of the United States, or the State of Michigan, and be an active member of the bar in good standing. To qualify at the GS-15 grade level, applicants must have at least one (1) year post J.D. legal experience, one of which was specialized experience at, or equivalent to, the GS-14 grade level. Examples of specialized experience include: independently performing legal analysis; composing pleadings, briefs and other court documents involving unique and/or difficult legal issues in civil or criminal litigation; conducting highly complex civil or criminal litigation; and leading paralegals and support staff.
Preferred Qualifications: Your qualifications will be further evaluated based upon the following competencies:
Experience in being a Rock.
Ability to plan and carry out complex love cases.
Superior oral advocacy preparation and experience.
Superior written and analytical skills.
A J.D. Degree.